Hello to my MIGHTY fan club.

 

IMG_7947Yesterday’s Sky Here

Hello, I’m back my friends. A lot has been going on to keep me away from you. It’s been like treading uphill. Firstly as most of you know, in September, ironically on September 11, 2015 I lost my job. Well since the house fire, I’ve been super depressed and hurt. Questioning, Why me? Why us? What did we do wrong? etc. Lead me down a path where body let me down (still does at times). The sickness from the sadness is what caused my crumb, inevitably my being let go. I couldn’t function properly anymore. My well way dry. My mind was severely shaken, not broken as some may think, lol.  I needed help. yes I said it, I needed help. See I was like most people. We try to say nothings wrong, I got it, I don’t need help. We have been programmed to keep our competitive advantage. The thought that someone knows you are hurting, leaves us in disarray and fearful of attack from friend and foe alike. We would rather suffer alone, than seek others for comfort, for help… I’m here to tell you my friends, that you allowing me to tell my story along the way of this battle, have been part of my help. When I was at my lowest, Cycling came to me through a chance encounter, with a very important person in my heart. She performs amazing thing on a bicycle and even more things off the bike. I’m proud to know her. You guys and women continue to nuture my new-found love of cycling with your inspiring stories and experiences. Thank you for allowing me in your cycling family.

FELT 2016

Fast forward a few months from my wrongful termination, and from the ashes I sprung  like the Phoenix. I have created a few companies with a      few more in mind. I have a new motto, ” I am not enslaved any longer”. I am free, and trying to live free. When I ride I feel truly free. During this time I also found out more about my body and why I was feeling and looking so awful. This was the worst shape I have ever been in EVER. So, I went to the doctor and we begin to try to figure out all the pains and problems. Well now I know that physically I suffer from fibromyalgia, pre-diabetic, and a severe vitamin D deficiency. Now to my mind has its own problems Depression, Anxiety, and PTSD. The last puzzled me. I looked at my therapist and said, I thought only soldiers have this. So, now I’m in the process of learning how to cope and survive through all the changes that are happening in my life. But to come full circle on my ramblings… Cycling has been a constant smile through the storm. We all need help at some time, don’t be afraid to ask. If you can help me understand some of the things I mentioned or have a story you would like to share, drop me some lines. I believe in the beginning when we first meet, I said I was on a Journey with my bike. Well the Journey continues… Thank you for coming along. You will never know how appreciative I am of you, for not allowing my voice to go unheard.

Thanks my friends and fellow cyclists.